I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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