My friends, they love my intelligence
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
