Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
