Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Randomize
