hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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