Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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