I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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