PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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