And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
