We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize