1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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