I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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