Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
