Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I love black thongs
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
