Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
