Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
