Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
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my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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