YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
