Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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