wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Randomize