yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
