I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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