I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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