are you so shy because you have an std?
I look better un-naked...
I cut my penus on the lid.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
