today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
