I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
This toilet bowl is my home.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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