She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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