I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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