His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
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When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
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You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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