you guys were way drunker than both of me
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.