im drinking this country out of the recession.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard