My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They took my balls.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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