farters have to be the big spoon...
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
