i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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