remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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