it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
