Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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