Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
