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this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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