You're completely useless in the revolution.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
