I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm just crazy horny about you
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
