If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
