there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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