I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
