I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
