that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
