It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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