im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
did you just send me my own nude
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
