# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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