That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
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I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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