So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
