I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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