i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
this will be a night to untag.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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