i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
