Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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