Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize