Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
