Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
