i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
