"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
