It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
