We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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