i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
