Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You're breaking my sexual little heart
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
