How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize