She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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