Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
