between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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