never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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