If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize