Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
